Working in a school is never, ever dull. Especially when the kids have little or no filter. Three days a week I travel to different elementary schools and teach math and science lessons to different classes. Here are a few conversations I've had with children lately.
1. 5th Grade
me: Today we are learning about light and color. Tell me something you already know about light or color.
kid: Black and white aren't really colors. They are part of the time space continuum.
me: Well, not exactly.
kid: Oh yes they are. I promise! (very emphatically)
2. 3rd Grade
kid (noticing my growing belly): What are you having?
me: I'm not sure yet. We find out next week.
kid: Well, it should be a boy. Girls are nothing but trouble and aren't worth it.
me: Well....there's not really a whole lot I can do about it now.
kid: I'm just saying...you should make it a boy if you can. (Do you think he maybe has a sister who is a handful??)
kid on the other side of the room: If it's a girl, what are you going to name her.
kid: Ewww...I don't like that name. You should name her Opal.
3. 5th Grade
kid: I know this is rude but are you pregnant?
me: Yes I am.
kid: My mom told me to quit asking women that because it's rude but you have a big belly so I figured it was ok.
4. 5th Grade
me: Can you tell me some examples of fractals that are found in nature?
kid: Crystals are an example. Once I saw a crystal on this show that gave people superpowers. Was that crystal a fractal?
me: Well, I'm not sure what show you were watching. And yes, crystals can be an example of a fractal.
kid: Well this crystal definitely gave people superpowers. I'm serious it did. Superpowers are real.
5. 4th Grade
kid: Is this your first child?
kid: Boy or girl?
kid: What color is her hair?
me: I'm not sure. I haven't met her yet.
kid: I'm pretty sure it's going to be black and curly. And this should be your only child. More than one gets crazy and kids just aren't worth it.