Saturday, February 26, 2011

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Working in a school is never, ever dull. Especially when the kids have little or no filter. Three days a week I travel to different elementary schools and teach math and science lessons to different classes. Here are a few conversations I've had with children lately.

1. 5th Grade
me:   Today we are learning about light and color. Tell me something you already know about light or color.
kid:   Black and white aren't really colors. They are part of the time space continuum.
me:   Well, not exactly.
kid:   Oh yes they are. I promise! (very emphatically)

2. 3rd Grade
kid (noticing my growing belly):   What are you having?
me:   I'm not sure yet. We find out next week.
kid:   Well, it should be a boy. Girls are nothing but trouble and aren't worth it.
me:   Well....there's not really a whole lot I can do about it now.
kid:   I'm just should make it a boy if you can. (Do you think he maybe has a sister who is a handful??)

kid on the other side of the room:   If it's a girl, what are you going to name her.
me:   Blakely.
kid:   Ewww...I don't like that name. You should name her Opal.

3. 5th Grade
kid:   I know this is rude but are you pregnant?
me:   Yes I am.
kid:   My mom told me to quit asking women that because it's rude but you have a big belly so I figured it was ok.

4. 5th Grade
me:   Can you tell me some examples of fractals that are found in nature?
kid:   Crystals are an example. Once I saw a crystal on this show that gave people superpowers. Was that crystal a fractal?
me:   Well, I'm not sure what show you were watching. And yes, crystals can be an example of a fractal.
kid:   Well this crystal definitely gave people superpowers. I'm serious it did. Superpowers are real.

5. 4th Grade
kid:   Is this your first child?
me:   Yes.
kid:   Boy or girl?
me:   Girl.
kid:   What color is her hair?
me:   I'm not sure. I haven't met her yet.
kid:   I'm pretty sure it's going to be black and curly. And this should be your only child. More than one gets crazy and kids just aren't worth it.

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